Unexplained

I can’t write poetry
These are words that hurt to say
Words that dwell within
Words that pain me still

I can’t write poetry
These are words I cannot contain
Words that fill me up
Words that almost drown me

I can’t write poetry
The words that are in my heart are pure and true
Words of peace
Words of love

I can’t write poetry
But the feelings I have cannot be expressed with common words
For the words to express them
I have not learned

I can’t write poetry
But your love fills me with longing
With hope and with something akin to joy
Joy not exactly but joy inexplicable

I can’t write poetry
But the simple truth is
I love you

Seasons Greetings


Towards the end of the year I became more intentional about the blog, in terms of regularity and connection of content.

It has been hard, not only coming up with content, but also convincing myself to post even when I wasn’t feeling up to it.

But as I said, Intentional.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, I would like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has read, shared, followed and subscribed. You guys make it all worth it.

And also in the spirit of gifts I have one for you all but you’ll have to wait till the new year.

Lots of big things coming.

Phoenix

In the land of Sorrow and misery lay the beginnings of a new world
A world made stronger by the rising
The rising from the dank recesses of civilisation
The underbelly of corruption
The dark areas of the human mind

For like the phoenix that rises in splendid glory from the ashes of its previous body
So shall we rise from the ashes of our past mistakes
Learning from our progenitors
Forging ahead, to the achievement of new glory

In this time of doubt the only thing we can trust is our ability to overcome obstacles
No matter how large, imposing or otherwise
In the face of increasing negativity and opposition towards that which you wish to do
In times like this some “righteous anger” is required
In the face of overwhelming enemy force

The other side of eternity

On this side of eternity
I exist
Barely breathing
Barely living
Just existing

On the other side of eternity
I thrive
Constantly moving
Always soaring
Fully living

On this side of eternity
I’m alone
Without help
Without hope

On the other side of eternity
I’m full of joy
Surrounded by friends
Surrounded with love

On this side of eternity
I live

On the other side of eternity
I’m alive

Ruin

Ruin is a gift
Ruin is the road to transformation

Be that as it may
My mind rambles on
Stuck on this road
Like a caterpillar stuck in its cocoon

I am slowly suffocated
Starved of breath
Deprived of inspiration

My soon empty shell
I am an exhibit of failure
Of things left unsaid
Of dreams left unchased

O how my poor mind raves
Lost in my own world
I have failed to move
I remain stuck on this road
The road called ruin

Future Fiction

Have you ever had plans you were so sure of.
Have you ever had dreams that were so clear.
Have you ever seen a road so straight.
No curves, no turns.
Just you and momentum.

Have you ever had a dream so big.
Have you ever had your mind stretched so wide.
Have you ever broken down and cried
When a thought crossed your mind
That the plans, the dreams, the road
Was really all fiction.

Episodes

In knowing myself
I find that I don’t know myself

In finding myself
I know that I am lost

In my history, there have been episodes.
I don’t want to call them episodes of depression, so as not to make light of actual diagnosed sufferers, but these are sudden periods of unexplained ‘downness’.

They come suddenly, handicapping my already reduced ability to communicate, move, live.

As I write this, one of such episodes has come upon me, but this time I am aware of the pattern.
It comes, I withdraw from groups, society, friends, and when it passes the damage is already done, so I withdraw even further.

But I won’t let that happen this time.

I am in control.