Your pillar

If you have read my post I’ve been set ADRIFT this will be much easier to understand.
During that trying period, my parents were pissed off (this was expected), but one of them i.e my mum was just totally out of proportion. I mean this is the person I could always count on to support me, no matter what happened.
But this was a new and unwelcome side of her personality that to this day I wish I had never seen, because those few weeks have as far as I am concerned ruined the relationship we had built and has put an end to future development. Don’t get me wrong I still love her, but we are just broken.
The whole issue is that she (actually both of them) refused to see that the change was also tough for me. I mean, I had been chasing the same dream for 4yrs, most of my secondary school classmates had graduated (posting pics on Facebook like “Thank God for seeing me through the last four years” choking sound). I’ve changed schools so many times it has become difficult keeping up with who knows what and who doesn’t.
She’ll be telling me things like “if I were you I’d stay in my room for a week thinking about my life” as if I was too stupid to see what was in front of me or understand the situation I was in. It was just so annoying. (It was actually during one of these phone conversations that I threw my phone at the wall in anger). There was actually a period when we were talking and I was just weeping (like red eyes bawling) in my friends room.
What really annoyed me was that she was supposed to be in my corner. She was like my pillar of support and when I literally needed her the most she collapsed. Now I know people might say “God should be your pillar” and He is, but my physical support system failed and if not for my spiritual support I also would have crumbled.


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