Confidence

Today, confidence took on a whole new meaning for me.
Moving on in spite of the fear, that is wrapping it claws around your heart.
The fear that makes you gasp for breath, that causes your heart to skip a beat.
The fear that causes you to become wet with perspiration.
The fear that seems to rationalize quitting.
True confidence is moving on in spite of that. And the truth is confidence works.
I faced my fear, and went for the audition and sang with my eyes open, and it seemed like they liked it.
I won’t know the result until later, but I hope I got in.

Blind talent

I have this friend. Let’s call him X. And he is one of the most annoying human beings on the planet. Not character wise though, in that regard he is a doll.
But what annoys me is his inability to accept a compliment about his creative talent.
I personal think that they broke the mold when they made him. But no matter how many times you tell him he refuses to see it.
I mean he can draw, design, dance. Things I wish I could do but unfortunately I can’t.
To me he is the type of person who should be at Parsons or Juilliard.
One time for fun we even checked Juilliard tuition fees and fantasized about how fun it would be to go there.
The sad thing is I think he is an example of what happens to the creative flame that exists when we were kids. Some kids have parents who fan these flames into a roaring fire for all to see, while others cover it with the wet towel that is their reality. But they need to realise that their reality is gone, the reality of today is a reality that is accepting of art and of life.
This reminds me of what I was thinking about when I wrote Bucket lists
Every time, I make personal effort to fan those flames that seem to be dying before my eyes, because I believe it is one of the saddest things, when a person is unable to achieve their full potential because of lack of support.

Mid life crisis

By next month I would have spent two decades and a year on this blue, green, and brown planet we call earth.
This is not cause for celebration, apart from the fact that I can now drink in every sensible country in the world(not that I drink😅). But that is beside the point. I have realised that I’m in the same age decade as Adele, Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber, and others, and I’m here twiddling my thumbs like.
It’s an annoying revelation because this is totally deviating from my plan. This m supposed to have been on the assigned path, with the goal clearly in sight, but we seem to have taken several detours and a U-turn , so much so that the goal is no longer visible.
But we hope that it is not too late to return to the original path, or at least a proper path to the goal.
Fingers crossed 🙏

Fashion week

When I started this blog I said I was going to blog about everything from fashion to random dancing.
Well I have seen 2 fashion weeks pass and the closest I have gotten to a front row seat is Twitter and my ever present Instagram.
London Fashion week for me was a period of discovery, not just of new trends but also new designers (at least new to me) from Monse to Dian Pelangi, and I have to tell you that nobody has a monopoly on creativity.
I’ve seen leather, floral from Balenciaga , lace from Rohmir and living headdresses and shawls. It’s so amazing.
Such things just make me wish I was showing my designs, but for now all I can do is sadly tweet ‘I wish I was there’  and like the pics on Instagram provided by a variety of accounts from Vogue to Fashion Scout.
But one day I will be there and not in the front row. Fingers crossed.

I’ve been set ADRIFT

Sorry that I haven’t posted in a while. I’m back in school which means shitty Wi-Fi, and my phone has spoilt completely. So I have been sans internet connection for the past two months.

Anyway, we have left medical school after the long journey of pursuit, and are now in the department of human nutrition and dietetics, and it’s kind of fun. In the beginning, I was totally giddy because so many ideas were flowing into and through me about what i could do with my degree. There were so many options, UNICEF, Wyeth, Kellogs, Nutritional adviser to the stars, or a restaurateur. But now the excitement has dimmed because it’s not the same as before. In medical school I had my entire life planned out; when I was going to graduate, where i was going to practice and do my residency, what specialty i was going to go into. But except for the initial flurry of ideas, I am struck with the stark reality that i have no idea what I’m going to do in the future. I think this is what people feel like when they’ve been chasing a dream for so long and they either achieve it or it’s snatched from their grasp. Because throughout my life I’ve ignored every other career path apart from medicine and now I feel like I’ve been set adrift in the sea of life, without a compass or land in sight.

Any and all ideas are welcome.

Building

The stress of building a house is very real. Obviously I have not yet arrived at that age, but I went to look at tiles with my dad today and it took the ENTIRE day. Like seriously. Why? Any way in the end there are so many things you have to consider from design, to placement, to colour, to level of traffic. It’s so annoying. Like my entire day was used up and I still did not get the tiles I wanted for my bathroom.
Anyway yesterday I came across the deepest bathtub I have ever seen.  And trust me when I say I am a FAN of long, soaking baths. I could fall asleep in the bathtub. But it was like soooooo expensive so I couldn’t have it 😤. And now I have just a week before I go back to school so I have to wait till December to see and hopefully be pleasantly surprised at whatever I am saddled with in my tiny slice of privacy within the family home.  Fingers crossed🙏🙈